song of the day II: gangsta gang-gangsta luv

the boss the dream

because i have time now part 2

im still reading "beautiful boy"...

its about this guy whose son was a bit of an over achiever at one point but resolved to using meth during college (although likely in paris during a summer abroad).

...reading this book is really strange for me because its something i've experienced first hand, but that i ultimately got myself out of.

the thing is, i'm reading it, and i'm thinking to myself, "jesus christ, i don't know what i would do in the father's position."

looking back, i dont know if my parents knew. or if they did, im unsure why they didnt do anything about it. it's strange thinking that they had no idea... i dropped down to 102 pounds, had kidney infections and at one point even had my stash discovered by a math teacher (who failed me but never told anyone about it, thank god). the funny thing is also, however, that im not sure i'd have turned out alright had they sent me to rehab or counseling. i think rehab can sort of instill this forever stigma - the addict is sort of relegated to walking around with a big "A" for addict for the rest of his or her life.

ANYWAY ill keep you guys updatedddd

im goin to get some brunch for dinner! then the gym.

xxvv

song of the day: all over you

get gone

the rascals, you better run.

i gots a little crush on you.

i was made to love her, stevie wonder

think of what you're saying.

we can work it out, steve wonder version

...you're not to blame

walk away renee, the left blanke

song of the day!

because i have time now

just finished reading "promise not to tell" by jennifer something or other. at first the writing seemed cheesy to me because she used a lot of curse words kind of uncomfortably, but the story itself was entertaining enough.

three quarters through "the lovely bones" .... so good, so sad, so far.

one quarter through "look me in the eyes" by john elder robison. its about growing up with aspergers. is inneresting.

have to read that book rox told me to read: "the women who run with wolves," and the other that mich told me to read tonight... the title reminded me of something milan kundera would have written.

i can feel it happening

its working, im changing.

ding ding ding

“Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I’ll never see him again like this… well yes, I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we’ll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There’s a moment in life where you can’t recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else’s kisses."

from the movie two days in paris